The Importance of Dating While Married
No friends, I don’t mean dating other people while you’re married…I mean to continue dating your spouse while you are married. Just because you say I DO doesn’t mean you should throw all the chivalry out the window. If you stop after marriage, image what will happen years down the road when you have kids, adult jobs, etc.?!
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My Dating Life PHASE 1
I don’t normally get too specific about my own marriage or my family issues in particular, but this post calls for me to get a little real with you. Marriage is hard, but if you put in the work, it can be so rewarding and an amazing journey. By “My Dating Life,” I mean the dating life I’ve had and still have with my own husband, just to be clear. When I started dating my husband, he already had children of his own, they were about 8 and 10 at the time. So dating, to be honest, was a little tough. The kids always came first, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Knowing that, we scheduled our “dating life” the days/weekends we didn’t have the kids. It actually left quite a bit of alone time for the two of us, more than enough.
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My Dating Life PHASE 2
The second phase of our dating life came once we got married and got pregnant right away with our first baby. After he arrived, our worlds of course changed. We were now balancing two older kids, a baby and a dog. It was a little tricky at times, but dating and having alone time still came fairly easy. My first baby was a dream sleeper, so chill and we could take him everywhere with us. Because he slept so well, a lot of date nights, he just came with us even. Our marriage still remained as strong as ever, the normal issues, but nothing major because we still made time for one another.
My Dating Life Phase 3
Phase 3 of my dating life came (current phase) when our second baby was born, just 18 months ago. She has been a non-sleeper and a lot more high maintenance than the first, therefore our worlds have been turned a bit upside down. I’ll be honest, neither my husband or I adjusted as well to this phase and we still really need to work on it daily. We are both more exhausted than before, have more outside pressures, commitments, etc. We have had to have numerous sit-down talks about making our marriage a priority, reminding one another what is important to each of us and that included continuing to date one another. This is a current work in progress and we are striving to have a “date night” each week. I’ll explain more below.
The Benefits of Dating Your Spouse
When a couple makes time for one another weekly, spending quality time together, they increase their odds for happiness, positive communication, and sexual satisfaction by 3 times the amount of those who don’t get that quality time together. Three benefits I know I want to experience in my marriage, don’t you!?. A date night is a great way to make sure you and your spouse are connecting at the level that is needed, it doesn’t need to be expensive or elaborate. In fact, if you can’t afford a sitter, simply plan your date night at
home after putting the kids to bed.
A Successful Date
It is important that on date nights, you don’t discuss finances, household responsibilities, problems with the kids or any sensitive issues at all. Set aside separate time for those things each day (10 minutes to do the rundown), because they are obviously important to talk about. A date should be playful and include a light atmosphere which includes lots of fun and laughter.
Take The Challenge!?
Do you want to strengthen your marriage? Take this challenge with me! My husband and I started this past Saturday and are so excited about this journey because we had so much fun on our first date…HOW THE CHALLENGE WORKS: Start dating your spouse at least once a week for the next 6 weeks. The idea is that after 6 weeks your marriage will be stronger and you’ll have developed a routine for date nights and realize how imortant they are to continue. Plan ahead for family members or sitters to watch the kids, if there is a week you can’t afford or can’t find a sitter, try something like the Date Night Box for inspiration at home. So who is with me. COMMENT AND SHARE BELOW!
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